How to Pursue Her

Love is never the reason a man initially chases a woman. It is the interest, the attraction and possibility that challenges a man to go after what he does not have. The chase is important because it shows the woman how far he is wiling to go to have her. A man finds pleasure in pursuing a woman that has covered up the deep parts of herself both inwardly and outwardly. His agenda is to unravel those parts and pull pieces of her for himself. In other words, a real man wants the responsibility to save a woman. I’m not saying that woman needs saving, but a woman loves when a man takes interest to understand her and take heed to her emotions.

A woman wants to be loved. A woman wants to be protected. The man’s job is find out how she wants to be loved, how she wants to be protected and how her heart can be shielded from hurt. He is guided by what he can’t see and led by possibilities. That’s why I find it hard to believe it takes years for a man to find out if the woman he has taken interest in is his wife. He should know within a week or two. How? Have you ever been so hungry that when you saw a cheeseburger you wanted to buy it immediately? It’s the same when a man looks at a beautiful woman. When he finds the courage to approach her and draws interest, he has no choice but to pursue. She doesn’t have to be attracted to him, but his will and tireless pursuit will, in fact, show her his heart and propel her toward him. Once this happens, a decision has to be made. The man has to step up and let her know where they are headed. Any relationship without direction is headed toward a dead end.

A godly man does not pursue a woman based on beauty and attraction. It is the first step that draws him toward her but it should not be the deciding factor to why he pursues her. I remember the first time I saw my wife. I accidentally came across her picture on Instagram, thanks to my sister. I thought she was the most beautiful woman I have ever seen. Though it was the initial step toward pursuit, it wasn’t until I started learning about her through the words of my sister that elevated my desire to get to know her for myself. My sister expressed to me how she was a woman of God and once I heard that, I needed to talk to her. I thought to myself, “there’s no way a woman this fine could be a woman of God!” You may laugh hearing this but it was a real place for me. The myth for me was that beautiful woman knew of God but did not have a relationship with God. That night we talked on the phone for 6 hours and I knew that she was the one. I had to pursue her.

For a man, it’s not about what she’s wearing, how much make-up she puts on or how curvy her body is, it’s about her character and what she possesses inwardly that grabs a man’s attention. It’s what a man can’t see that propels him to chase a woman. It’s important that a woman uses patience and does not become anxious in sharing her heart to every man because it opens the door for a broken heart. The right man will pursue a woman’s heart carefully, not her breast. The right man will chase what’s inside and not what’s merely on the outside.

Love is never the reason a man initially chases a woman but it is the reason a man continues the chase. Even when married, it’s important for the husband to continue to pursue his wife because it shows that he still loves her and the possibility to know her more. We can never fully know someone but we can pursue enough to know more each day.

– Lorelco Mulzac


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